The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Movie Review – Are You Kidding Me?

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I just came across an article in a well-known publication, aggregating movie reviews of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse rendered by several well-known movie critics.  Are you kidding me? People actually made an effort to review this movie? I am here to tell you that no one will give these reviews any thought or serious weight. Moviegoers either love or loathe these movies and no so-called ‘movie expert’ is going to change our minds.

After two installments of Twilight, both already having been seen by a gazillion people or ignored by the rest of humanity, we know more or less what Eclipse will deliver. I think most people that watch movies in general would fall in one of three camps when it comes to Twilight. The first camp is composed of TwiHards who love this movie and actually believe it is ground-breaking and earth-shattering. They have been waiting seven months since the release of New Moon to see Eclipse and no movie critic is going to stand in the way of their stampede to the movie theater.

The second camp include other TwiHards who know this movie saga sucks, but can’t help loving it for a million other unexplainable reasons. Those that fall in this camp are aware of what this movie series is and what it isn’t. They realize this movie series, despite having horrible dialogue, robotic acting and zero character development still has inexplicably found a way into popular culture. Twilight somehow magically transforms women (and probably men if they admit to it) of all ages back to their 16-year old selves; a time in our lives when we believed that once-in-a-lifetime soul mate kinda love was possible for us all. You know, the kind of love which would make you do stupid things like give up your life as a human, your family, your friends, everything. Only so you could become a blood-sucking vampire and be able to make love to said soul mate without being shattered by his vampire strength. We don’t need Oscar-worthy acting, or believable dialogue to transport us to this place in our minds that we still want to dearly hang on to. So, this group would say, “Spare us movie critics, we need to get to our pre-purchased movie showing.”

The last camp of movie goers are people who hate the entire Twilight saga for no apparent reason at all, or happen to actually have good taste in movies. No glowing review of Eclipse or impassioned trashing, is going to make a difference to the haters of the series.

I’ll admit I fall into camp #2. I hate Edward’s acting, his glare, his iciness. I hate Bella’s lip biting even more. I laugh at the fact that there could be nice, vegetarian vampires in the world. But I still can’t help rooting for Bella to be turned into a cold lifeless vampire so she can eternally be bound to her one true love, Edward.

So, tell me, who are the critics writing for? Would a review of Eclipse change your mind, one way or another? Which camp do you fall under? And if you still don’t own New Moon on DVD and want to, it’s on sale on Amazon! Click here.

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11 thoughts on “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Movie Review – Are You Kidding Me?

  1. Agreed…not sure who the heck would read a review of this movie as a way to determine whether they should see the film or not…perhaps out of sheer curiousity, but no other reason… I think the real reason critics do it is because they secretly WANT to see the film and a review is a good excuse for them to see what otherwise might not be “viewable” due to ridiculous content and not living up to their supposed standards…this way they come off as doing it for the job and not because they actually want to…you know its some movie critics dirty little vice, they’re secretly thrilled to see it…

  2. HAHA! @Zhena, I think you are on to something. I agree! I can’t wait to see this movie – despite the fact that Pattinson’s acting in Remember Me sent me running for asylum.

  3. I agree with you. After all the movie was written for the fans, not the critics. It’s amazing how they were so quick to get their opinions out there, who in fact is going to read that garbage when Twihard fans from around the world recently camped out days just to get a glimpse of the cast.

    I think it’s time those heartless critics move on to another film saga they know nothing about.

  4. Zhaleh’s comment:

    I’m camp 2 1/2. I love love love the 1st one, but can’t totally say why, but don’t love the 2nd one but can’t explain why either. I will say Robert Pattinson is one of the finest actors of our time….have you seen How to Be, brilliant!

  5. I am SSSSSOOOOOOO #2. Still camped out the 9 hours to see it at midnight, still swooned and laughed and sniffled………..I am a diehard Twihard but will never say the movies are earthshattering or phenomenal.

    As a side note, I NEVER listen to reviews anyways…they are all a bunch of crap since every human being is different and has their own taste.

  6. I saw Eclipse tonight and loved it. Loved every minute of the cheese. Actually, there wasn’t that much cheese. There was a ton of romance and action. Lots of romantic tension. I will probably go see it again next week I loved it so much.

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