There’s a new belle on the block.
Move over Phaedra- I thought you would be the one this season with the over the top one liners and absurd observations, but another Georgia peach has swooped in and taken your crown. No, it’s not former beauty queen Kenya- it’s the newest housewife on the block, Porsha Stewart. We first meet Porsha when she is having lunch with Kenya. The two ladies proceed to have what is surely one of the strangest conversations in housewife history. Continue here with us for a full recap of The Real Housewives of Atlanta for November 18, 2012:
Porsha invited Kenya to attend the Hosea Williams Foundation charity event- Porsha’s grandfather is the founder of the organization. Porsha gives her some details about the organization and asks Kenya if she has been involved with any other charities (of course Kenya has her own foundation.) There is a slight pause in the conversation when Porsha suddenly begins to ask personal questions- are you married, do you want to have children. Kenya hesitantly answers, “yes” to both questions.
Portia says she wants to “have a girl and boy and be finished.” Kenya tells her that you can’t predict the sex of your child prior to even being pregnant. Well, medical science be dammed because Porsha has made an amazing discovery- a Chinese calendar that can predict the sex of your future baby. Where did she find this potentially earth shattering information- “I saw it online; I don’t know how they do it don’t even get me started on how to explain the Chinese calendar.” Kenya’s response- “let me know how that works out for you.” Undeterred, Porsha continues to dole out medical advice. She goes on to say that she wants to be finished having children by age 35. Kenya says she cannot relate because she is way past that age.
Well, Porsha has a solution-“my aunt who is 43 was telling me about a fertility doctor- she’s Asian and she uses umm…I think Eastern methods, yeah Eastern. So I think I can get the information from her and give it to you.” Kenya gives her a blank stare and doesn’t respond. The conversation moves back to the gala invite; Portia has one small request “Oh one more thing- can you wear your tiara and sashel (not sash, but sashel). Kenya’s response- “hell no you have to pay me for that honey- that’s what we call a premium appearance fee.”
Next, we get our full introduction to Porsha via her first on-camera interview. She is recently married to a retired NFL player and the granddaughter of a civil rights leader. She helps to run her grandfather’s charity foundation which “feeds people because of the… um what is it, what are we in… oh yeah the recession.” Apparently, the “umm… recession” has not impacted her – she goes on to say “ I’ve always lived well, a perfect day for me would be calling my various girlfriends who don’t work, going to have lunch with them and then coming home to my husband. My life is the s**t because I am very blessed, everything I put in the universe ends up happening.”
While Porsha definitely stole the show with her nonsensical ramblings, honorary mention goes to NeNe’s ex-husband, Greg. He is working overtime to woo back Nene. He’s shed a few pounds and has begun to write poetry- “I wanna a key to your door like I never had before, this time I wanna do it right because again I’m gonna make you my wife.” Surprisingly, NeNe remains unconvinced.
Phaedra is hard at work on yet another business venture. In addition to being a lawyer and budding funeral home director (remember she buries both pets and people) she is also a “donkologist.” She and her husband Apollo are developing a “Donkey booty workout”- a “beginner’s exercise video with a gentle workout packed with butt lifting and butt plumping properties to give you the curvaceous bottom you dream of.” It wouldn’t be any fun if Phaedra were embarking on this journey alone, so she has enlisted Kenya to help her. Of course, in addition to having her own charity, Kenya also has her own production company. Phaedra is excited to work with Kenya because “I really like Kenya, she’s a strange bird; she’s very eccentric and crazy. I’m a little eccentric and crazy too, so I can appreciate her interestingly odd behavior.”
Speaking of Kenya, the former beauty queen has been working overtime to stir up drama this season- last week it was Cynthia; now she can add Porsha to her growing list of adversaries. The night of Porsha’s charity event arrives. She hyped the event as the biggest social gathering of the season featuring the crème de la crème of Atlanta society but, there is hardly anyone present, and there are no celebrities in sight.
Porsha’s husband arrives and presents her with a Chanel purse (keep in mind this is a charity event for children) and a special cake. Next, he hands her a check for the money she needs to raise for the evening- she reached her fundraising goal without actually raising any funds. Porsha makes a speech and thanks everyone for coming and mentions Kenya- “Miss America.” Whoops, Kenya was actually Miss USA. Obviously, Kenya is fuming and begins rolling her eyes and complaining about the air-conditioning, so she leaves and goes outside. Porsha follows her out and tells her she is being rude, Kenya fires back with “you courted me and asked me to be here so you should at least get my title right.” Porsha tells her “it was so long ago when she won- 1990-something she can’t remember the title.” Porsha asks Kenya to leave. In a huff, Kenya and Miss Lawrence (he was there too) storm off. The only thing better than storming out of a party is storming out of a party with a fabulous gay man in tow.
Next week- Kim is still moving and misses Phaedra’s party. Phaedra accidentally pocket dials a friend of NeNe’s and can be overheard talking about Cynthia. Cynthia confronts Phaedra.