Hey muthaphukkas around the world, Samuel L. Jackson wants you to enter his contest. The actor is giving you a chance to have your words read aloud by his world-famous mesmerizing voice. But you have to hurry, the contest which supports Alzheimer’s Society runs through today.

All you have to do is write a 300-word post of anything that you’d like to hear Samuel L. Jackson say out loud; a poem, a joke, a bedtime story. Anything really. Then post it as a comment on Jackson’s Reddit contest and if that snobby community likes it enough and votes for it the most, you win.

You can also donate $3 for a chance to win lunch with Samuel. You can also bid on an autographed hat.