Last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (March 18, 2013) was titled, ”A Vodka Through the Heart.” Below is a full show recap of RBOH 3/18/13 Episode 18 A Shot:

In tonight’s episode Adrienne and Paul Maloof’s separation was announced.  We all know that the divorce that followed was pretty nasty with both Paul and Adrienne hurling accusations of abuse and cheating at one another.  Too bad Adrienne didn’t show up for the reunion to tell her side of the story, I guess she can just keep letting her chef Bernie sell stories to the press about her and we can get our Maloof news fix that way.

Prior to the separation announcement, Adrienne had a party to celebrate a new line of vodka she is investing in. Is this woman ever not selling something? Paul and Adrienne’s contempt for one another is on full display, she even calls him “pathetic” at one point during the evening. Adrienne seems to be disgusted with her husband but her face doesn’t move anymore so I can’t really tell. Marisa (did you forget about her? I did) finally realized she was on a reality show and stirred up some drama.  While at the party with Adrienne, Kyle, Yolanda and “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick” (I love Camille for that one, best line since Theresa called Danielle a “prostitution whore” on RHONJ) Marisa showed the women a text Brandi sent to her recommending that she give her husband Dean a “hall pass.” How dare Brandi, where would she get the idea that Marisa and Dean were unhappy? Oh yeah, every time Marisa is in a room she tells everyone how unattractive her husband is, how she wishes he made studio films so they could have more money and how much more he loves her than she loves him.  Anyway, Marisa is appalled by the text and asserts that she and her husband have a great marriage and leads the ladies in a Brandi bashing session. Cue this season’s other new girl and part time wallflower Yolanda. Mrs. Foster jumps right in and sticks up for Brandi and tells her if she has a problem she should talk to Brandi not gossip to the other ladies about it.

The second party of the evening was, Lisa and Ken’s housewarming/vow renewal. We finally get a glimpse of Taylor’s friend and Yolanda’s husband’s ex-wife, Linda. She walks into Lisa’s party and hands her a jar of homemade jam, telling her she felt “so middle class” for giving her jam but she makes it herself. I think I can speak for most middle class people and say handing someone jam as a anniversary gift is not “middle class” it’s just plain tacky.

Yolanda arrives at the party wastes little time informing Brandi about the b**ch session at Adrienne’s party and in a move that is all class and makes her my hero she marches over grabs Marisa and brings her to Brandi and tells her to tell Brandi what she said about her. Marisa backpedals and tries to make light of it, but Yolanda is having none of that. In an effort to explain herself Marisa says, “The only thing I do in front of everybody is joke when guys are hot and it would be great to like sleep with somebody new. I’m not saying that I’m not going to be with my husband or I’m going to go cheat!,” Umm, that’s exactly what it sounds like you are saying. Yolanda calls out the two faced behavior for what it is and Marisa is struggling to defend herself against Yo’s onslaught of common sense. The other women watch from afar but one of them decides to run to Marisa’s rescue, too bad it’s the “morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Faye is really gunning for one of those open “housewife” slots left by Camille and Adrienne’s departures; she has been trying to throw herself in the mix all season.  She saunters over and Brandi and Yolanda tell her to leave and that the conversation has nothing to do with her. Faye is looking for a fight and refuses to leave and as Brandi so eloquently puts it “pulls her d**k out on the table.”

Obviously her motive for joining the conversation have nothing to do with Marisa because she changes the subject immediately and blames Brandi for the demise of Adrienne and Paul’s marriage. She asks Brandi “how does it feel to break up a family?” Now if you’ve watched this show for even five minutes you can tell that Paul and Adrienne had problems that had nothing to do with Brandi. The fact that every moment I saw them on the show since season one they looked like they hated one another has nothing to do with Brandi. Faye thinks that Brandi’s bombshell about Paul and Adrienne’s use of a surrogate to carry their twin sons drove them apart and contributed to the end of their marriage. She tells Brandi, “No matter how many Chanel’s you borrow, you will never ever be a lady.” Yes and a woman who is a former cocaine addict, cashed in on her friends alleged domestic abuse, murder and the ensuing trial (Faye was friends with Nicole Brown Simpson and later wrote a book about the O.J. Simpson murder trial) and posed for Playboy in a attempt to cash in on her notoriety from the trial knows all about being a lady.

Yolanda is fed up with Faye’s trash talking and calls her accusations about Brandi breaking up Adrienne and Paul’s marriage “bulls**t” and “pathetic” and takes Brandi by the arm and walks away.

Next Week: A two hour extravaganza- Season finale and Part 1 of the reunion! God Bess You Andy Cohen!