Ashton Kutcher Preparing For The Armageddon

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Ashton Kutcher looks sexy beefy buff! But unlike other guys, he isn’t bulking up for health or vanity reasons; he is getting fit to prepare himself for the impending fight needed to save his family once the Armageddon arrives–And Ashton swears it’s coming!

At least that’s what he told Men’s Fitness magazine in a bizarre interview from which Ashton is now backtracking via Twitter.  Today, Ashton Tweeted: “Sometimes u have to do interviews just to amuse yourself. This is what a conversation looks like out of context.” He did confirm though: “They are my words for sure. I was trying to give some kind of response to the question what motivates you to work out.”
So, what is Ashton backtracking from? Here is what Ashton told the magazine about the apocalypse he feels is hovering near us: 

“It won’t take very much, I’m telling you. It will not take much for people to hit the panic button,” Kutcher says in the interview. “The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle. People don’t have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems, so if there’s no electricity, nobody has maps.”

Kutcher himself then asks and answers, what happens when all our modern conveniences fail?
“And people are going to go, ‘That land’s not yours, prove that it’s yours,’ and the only thing you have to prove it’s yours is on an electric file. Then it’s like, ‘What’s the value of currency, and whose food is whose?’ People’s alarm systems at their homes will no longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity – what happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I’m going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don’t have to worry.”

“I’m going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don’t have to worry.”

So, to get “ready”, Ashton says he is stockpiling guns and running the canyons near his house, pushed on by visions of being chased by wild boar, while also doing bikram yoga and learning Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique.

“All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about.”

Jesus.
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