The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills RECAP 01/28/13: ‘Stars and Stripes’

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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS returned to Bravo Monday night January 28, 2013 with a whole new episode called, “Stars and Strips.”  On this week’s show the ladies headed to Las Vegas to find empowerment through pole dancing.  Below is a full recap of RHOBH Jan 28 episode:

Come and knock on our door! Suzanne Summers AKA Chrissy Snow from the
classic sitcom Three’s Company made an appearance on last night’s episode. Suzanne dropped by Yolanda’s house and had lunch with her, Lisa and Kyle. The ladies discussed the secrets to aging gracefully and Yolanda tried to convince the ladies that healthy eating was the secret to looking good, “you are what you eat. When you pass 45 things just don’t stay in shape eating bacon.”

Brandi has invited all of the ladies (including Camille) to come to Las Vegas with her. She has been asked to host an event called “Brandi’s Night School for Girls”, no she is not helping young women develop math or reading skills, rather she is hosting stripper and burlesque classes. It makes perfect sense; she already has a stripper name (Brandi with an i) so why not teach a class. Actually Brandi said the company approached her because of all has been through with her messy, public divorce and they think she would be a good role model to help empower women…through stripping. We all know the key to empowerment is grinding in front of strangers and having them shove dollar bills down your underwear.

I usually give Yolanda a lot of grief in these posts, but I must say I was kind of
impressed with her this week. Her house is amazing- I know that has nothing to do
with her since the home belongs to her husband, David Foster but I have to say the
ocean view from her backyard is breathtaking. Yolanda was dressed down in jeans
and a ponytail and gasp…flat shoes for most of the episode, which I can appreciate.

She cooked two meals this week- lunch for Suzanne Summers and dinner for her
husband, and I have to admit both looked delicious. Savor this moment Yolanda; I’m sure it is fleeting and I will be back on your case next week.

I’m going to do a quick sidebar and go on a little rant about the housewives homes.
At this point in the episode, we have had a glimpse of all of the women’s homes
and I just have to do a quick run down: Yolanda- see above, it is amazing. Lisa was
having a discussion with her husband Ken in her closet! Her closet, complete with
an island a various chairs and sofas is the size of my entire apartment. Brandi- she’s having a tough time financially so I’m going to leave her alone. Kyle and Marisa both have surprisingly unimpressive homes; since Kyle’s husband is a relator and recently bought her a Maserati and Marisa’s husband is a well-known film producer I expected their homes to be on par with Lisa’s and Yolanda’s. Kim- another one going through a hard time, but she has a “houseman,” yes that is what they called him. Those residual checks from her years as a Disney star must still be rolling in.

Ok, that is all, back to tonight’s episode.

The comic relief for the evening came from Marisa Zanuck and her visiting mother.
While Marisa was packing for the Vegas trip her mother comes over to help her and
had all kids of advice for her daughter, telling her “I want to be able to go through
your closet once and throw some things away.” She pulls out a dress and tells her
daughter, “please don’t take this, this is hideous.” The next dress does not fair any
better, this looks like Mother Hubbard, and you look like somebody from out in the boondocks with this on. Tell me how much it was $20?” Her daughter tells her the dress actually cost $600. Mom counters, “I could find that in a second hand store for you for $10.” Marisa protests, “but mom I like it.” Mother is having none of it and tells her “honey, I swear to you it’s ugly.” Things take a strange turn when her mother asks her where the women will be staying in Las Vegas. Marisa tells her they are staying at the Four Seasons, which is attached to Mandalay Bay. Mom says, “oh that is lovely, I stayed there four years ago and I haven’t been since, that’s why I thought if you would invite me than I could go. I can go in another plane and you wouldn’t even have to talk to me, please?” Wow.

Kim is the only housewife that doesn’t make the trip to sin city. She is busy having
a consultation with a plastic surgeon about a nose job. The reason she gave for the surgery, well she gave a few but she was kind of rambling and incoherent as usual so none of them made any sense. She basically said that she was in the mood to do something so she decided to have her nose done. When most people are bored they have a snack, talk to friends or go shopping but alas this is life in Beverly Hills.

All of the women arrive in Vegas and for once have a good time together. They
are all having dinner and Brandi reaches out to Kyle to try to explain to her why
she behaves the way she does sometimes. She tells the women that the divorce
was rough on her and is still dealing with a lot of anger and feels like she always
needs to fight and be strong. The women commensurate about Brandi’s experience, especially Camille who dealt with her own bitter, public divorce from Kelsey Grammer last year. The dinner quickly turns into a LeAnne Rimes bashing session.

The ladies lay into the country crooner for everything from her choice of wardrobe
(or lack thereof) to her body and hijacking of Brandi’s style. Wine and laughter
flow and it seems that for the first time in housewife history a dinner party will
end without any cursing, crying, threats or tantrums. Whoops, I spoke to soon, see
below.

Next week- another disastrous dinner party! Brandi’s big mouth gets her in trouble
again, Camille and Yolanda square off and Camille drops a bomb on Lisa.

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