In tonight’s (January 27, 2013) season 5, thirteenth episode of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA called “Make an Ass Out of a Donkey” the battle of the asses raged on- “Donkey booty” vs. “Stallion booty.” Both Phaedra and Kenya are preparing for their booty centered exercise videos. Below is a full recap of RHOA:
Kenya is moving forward with her stallion booty workout video despite Phaedra’s
accusations that she stole her idea, “I had an offer on the table to produce a video so I’m going to produce a video. People want to look like a beauty queen not a donkey.”
Meanwhile, Phaedra is working it for the cameras and shooting the cover for her
video. In Phaedra’s words “Kenya is crazy as a bedbug” but she is actually working
out and preparing for the video, unlike Ms. Parks who is having a photo shoot for the cover of a DVD that hasn’t been produced yet. Umm just a suggestion Phaedra, but if you are producing a workout video you may want to try working out.
Elsewhere in the ATL Cynthia has decided to expand her modeling agency and begin working in pageants and enlists Porsha to assist her. Luckily Cynthia also hired a pageant consultant because neither lady has a clue as to how to pull of staging a pageant. Cynthia at least a look like she’s trying to make this work but poor Porsha is as clueless as ever. Porsha offers to provide the entertainment for the pagent, she describes her singing voice as a “Mary J. Blige and Beyonce mixed with a little Rihanna.” Porsha belts out a tune to demonstrate; unless Beyonce, Rihanna and Mary J are three cats being strangled in an alley somewhere she sounds nothing like any of them. Prosha should definitely stick to her day job, oops I forgot- she doesn’t have one.
Kenya and her nemesis Porsha have another showdown. This time Kenya invites
Porsha to lunch to talk to her about the issues with Phaedra. Kenya tells Porsha
that Phaedra is using her as a pawn in her feud with Kenya. Porsha tells Kenya
she doesn’t want to be involved in her drama. The ladies (I use the term loosely)
begin screaming at one another (this seems to be their preferred method of
communication) and being insulting one another as confused and annoyed patrons
of the restaurant stare. Both women storm out of the restaurant while hurling
insults at one another- for those of you keeping score: Porsha calls Kenya ashy and Kenya makes fun of Porsha’s hair, eye shadow and sneakers.
Bored with being a wallflower and NeNe’s sidekick, Cynthia has taken on a new
hobby- s**t stirrer. Cynthia meets with Kenya to discuss all of the booty brouhaha.
The former model tells the former beauty queen that Phaedra said that she was
doing Kenya a favor by hiring her and that she should be glad that Phaedra is even
her friend. Cynthia also spills that Phaedra has said that Kenya may have a drinking problem and a possible chemical imbalance. Kenya later meets with Miss Lawrence and relays her drama with Phaedra; she promises to confront Phaedra about all of the rumors.
The ladies all attend NeNe’s Shoedazzle shoe launch. I have to mention that she
designed the shoe and is selling it on the shoedazzle website but is not wearing
the shoe. I must ask why anyone would buy a shoe that the designer won’t wear.
All of the ladies are at the party chatting when Kenya arrives. She mocks Phaedra
by wearing a big hat and a bathing suit and cover up with pads on the butt. I guess
one way to fight rumors that you are crazy is to act crazy. Kenya rolls into the
party speaking in a fake southern accent greeting everyone and asking for drinks
since “she is such an alcoholic.” She tells the group “people want to call you crazy,
then you gotta give them crazy.” Kenya calls Phaedra out for making fun of her
and insinuating she needs medication and has a drinking problem. Phaedra sticks
to her guns and tells Kenya that she believes both are true and she is not making
fun of her. Kenya says that their disagreements are business related and she has
never attacked Phaedra personally. Kenya ends the discussion by saying certain
things you don’t say even if you think them, for example “your body looks like s**t
and you shouldn’t be doing a workout video but I wouldn’t dare say that out loud.”
Newsflash Kenya, you just did.
Next- Kandi wans to make a gospel album. Cynthia and Porsha begin to argue about the upcoming pageant at the Bailey Agency. Kenya’s ex Walter is back!